Chemo TDM1 round 1
As much as I want to do everything in my power to kill every speck of cancer in my body, I have been dreading the day that cancer treatment started back up again. The first time I did this I had no idea what to expect. There is something to be said about going in blind. I know how I am going to feel and I hate knowing that soon I will be worn down again. Adding radiation to the equation, and at the same time as chemo, means that the side effects are going to be more pronounced. I can tell you that Friday was a very, very long day.
In the morning I had my radiation treatment. When I got home I fed the kids and immediately fell asleep on the couch. My mom came to pick me up for my chemo at 1:15 and subsequently woke me. When I say I am tired I mean it.
Scott had a meeting so my mom waited with me until he could get to my appointment. With this being the first round of a new treatment I had to be monitored during and after the infusion. All that means is that the appointment was real long.
There is no way to prepare for chemo, especially when I knew what was coming. But I will say that I had worked it out in my head that this was still not going to be “as bad” as traditional chemotherapy, after all, it was a targeted chemotherapy treatment. I was wrong. When the nurse had to put on her hazmat suit (what I call the garments nurses have to put on when handling chemo meds) to get my medicine started I almost started to cry. I just really, really want this not to be what my life is. I really want to not NEED this medicine. But I do so there I sat as they explained all the allergic reactions I could have. It is truly terrifying knowing that you are willingly having something so toxic put into your body in the hopes of prolonging your life.
Thankfully I never had an allergic reaction. I was so tired it took everything in my power to stay awake in case I started to feel funny. By the time I was finished and Scott got me home all I wanted to do was shower off all the medical offices I had been in and go to bed. Which was exactly what I did and why I was alseep by 6 pm on Friday night. If you are wondering I didn’t wake up till 5 am the next morning.
So far in regards to side effects I am exhausted. It is more intense than when I had chemo a year ago. I feel broken-down. My stomach is unhappy so I am taking the anti-nausea medicines like candy. There is more muscle pain than I remember which makes me think the bone pain is going to show itself in the coming weeks. I have more headaches and I feel like it is from the chemo and radiation since they started shortly after I began rads.
It sucks but I am trying hard to be present especially for the kids. I made it to their swim meet yesterday and collapsed once we were finally home. Today I have hardly been able to get out of the chair my body is so weak. But I am glad I went yesterday. There is no guarantee that I will get to attend all their meets and I will not let Cancer steal another minute of my time with my children.