Learning to Love Naps

I have finished up week two of radiation and all I can say is the sooner it is over the better. Life feels like I am living inside a mud pit. No matter how hard I try to move faster, I can’t. My body feels like it is in slow motion. I feel a little out of body over the sensation because my mind, at times, seems to be moving at normal speed. I don’t know but the tiredness is not getting better as the chemo side effects settle in my body.

As frustrating as it is to fall asleep without attempting, even in the middle of a discussion, I am beginning to embrace it. My body is a hot mess, literally. I’m in bed by 6 if I am home. If not then by 8 at the latest. I might not like being sleepy but this past week has set me straight. I need a nap. It is a bit like having a newborn baby, but I am the newborn….

The patient waiting room at radiation is also not my cup of tea. First I am the youngest person in there by a solid 15, maybe even 20 years, and all these people do is complain about getting cancer. It is reminiscent of the breast cancer class I had to go to after my bilateral mastectomy. I know it is wrong of me but I want to slap them. Am I sorry they got cancer? Yes, yes I am. But it is hard for me to sit and listen to them complain that they may not get to see their grandchild graduate from college. No joke I sit there trying to tune them out because if not I am afraid I will scream at them…obviously I need to start doing more yoga.

Later tonight I will snap a picture of my skin after week two. So far it looks okay but I have been warned side effects don’t show up until week three. Guess next week things are going to start getting dicey.