Originally published at bcvsbc.blogspot.com on 05/01/18

Trying to pass the time as you wait for pathology reports sucks.  The truth is that you are only awaiting bad news.  You already have cancer, that isn't going to change, so now you await to find out how far it has stretched out in your body.  My family, especially my sisters and mom, have made it their mission in life to keep me clean and pre-occupied.  Not for the faint of heart since I am wrapped in about 2 feet of padding, tubing, and gauze.  

Last time Deni helped me get clean we just dried my hair and left it.  This time she decided to get fancy because I have numerous doctor appointments this week.  

It was a pretty legit spa treatment.  Lex brought us lunch to eat while I got my hair done.  As Deni was working she kept saying, "the curls need to be really tight", or "we need more hairspray so it sets for a few days", and my favorite, "only finger comb the curls!"  I was nervous....

I think her inspiration was the Texas Lowry's due to the big hair concept that I pulled off nicely in this picture with Greenley.  

Fluffy hair aside the bath was awesome and this time I was even able to rub lotion on my legs.  It is the little things that excite me these days.  I will start physical therapy on Thursday that is specifically for bi-lateral mastectomy patients. I am actually looking forward to the class.  It is really hard going from lifting weights 5 days ago to needing help dispensing soap to wash my hands.  The smallest things I need help with and I would like to start gaining back my weight as soon as I can.

Originally published at bcvsbc.blogspot.com on 04/29/18

They say that the 2nd and 3rd day of recovery after a major surgery is the worst and I would agree that is a true statement.  The first day out of the hospital you are still hopped up on the "good stuff" and blissfully unaware of the hurt coming your way.  I slept like a baby and didn't feel a thing the first night.   But by the next morning I had entered a different dimension of feelings. 

Scotty and I requested something a little bit stronger from my surgeon during our post op meeting and figured that was all I would need to be back on the road to recovery again.  After the first dose it seemed great, pain was less and it wasn't making me drowsy.  However, by that evening I was starting to get itchy.  It started at the back of my arms, right on top of my triceps.  It is seriously the only location I can't move my arms high enough to reach to scratch so I was getting pretty annoyed.  The itchy feeling moved from my arms over to my neck, down my stomach below all the bandages and wrapped around to my back. 

There was a lot of iodine on my body from the surgeries.  My arms, neck, back and belly were covered in it.  I am not allowed to get anything wet so I haven't tried to do a sponge bath because I am freaked out about causing anything to take longer to heal.  Yet the itching made me think it must be from the iodine.  Last night I had Scott help me use baby wipes to remove as much of the iodine as I could.  Once we were done I took my last set of meds before bed and was certain all would be well in the morning.

Everything was not well in the morning.  When Scott woke me up for my meds around 4 I was scratching my skin so hard in my sleep that I had cut my skin on my neck.  My prediction of it being from the iodine was obviously incorrect and since the only thing we had changed was the new pain medication, it was evident that I was allergic to it.

Not a great picture but my entire body is covered in these small raised red bumps.  The nurse switched my pain meds and I added another pill for the allergic reaction. 

My older sister, Deni, and her family came over this morning to see me.  Since I told my family about my diagnosis my sister Deni has gone into full war commander mode.  She basically took over the remainder of the moving that needed to take place in our old home, set up a command center at my parents house, and started a schedule for people to help with my kids.  Let's just say you do not want to mess with Deni, she's awesome, and a little scary!

While she was here my mom and her helped me take a bath.  I already mentioned that how nervous I was about getting anything wet so they devised a way to ensure no water would get on me. 

They wrapped me in 4 extra large beach towels from Costco, then cut an opening out of the bottom of a 55 gallon black garbage bag and duct taped it around my neck so that no water could get through.  I looked homeless but afterwards I felt amazing.  They were able to wash my hair (I can't even fully brush it yet), blow dry it, and help me wash all the iodine off my body.  It was like heaven.    Plus they helped me change my clothes.  I haven't been able to do that yet because it hurt so bad to move everything.  I feel like a whole new woman…minus the boobs!

Originally published at bcvsbc.blogspot.com on 4/27/18

The surgery went well yesterday.  In honor of this special day I had my buddy Mike make me some shirts to commemorate it.  Going into the hospital my shirt said, "I have killer boobs",  When I was released to come home I changed into a shirt that said, "I HAD killer boobs". At times like this humor is much needed.

First up was the sentinel node biopsy.  This might have been the most painful thing I have ever had done.  During that procedure I got four shots around my nipple that inject radioactive blue dye into my lymph system.  It then travels though my body to find the lymph nodes that are either blocking the cancer from spreading, OR, are already infected and spreading.  The shots were pretty intense because you aren't allowed to have any numbing to lessen the pain.  Once inside the surgery room and under anesthetic they take a device like a stud finder to locate the nodes that are infected.  Two nodes lit up so those two were removed and will be sent off to the lab. 

Next up they started on the mastectomies.  My left breast is the one that is filled with tumors.  When this surgery is done they try to get a certain amount of clean margins.  Unfortunately the mass that I was able to feel and see was very close to the skin.  This means that we might not have been able to get clean margins.  So we wait to see what the pathology reports say.  IF they find that the margins were not clean I will need radiation.  This is the same if my nodes came back positive. 

I decided to an immediate reconstruction so my plastic surgeon installed the expanders inside my breast.  In order for the expanders to stay in place they used a piece of cadaver tissue to hold them in position.  So not only do I have no breasts right now, I have dead skin in me.  I'm almost a zombie!

For now we are playing the waiting game to see what the doctors find after dissecting my breast tissue.  They say it takes 3-10 days.  I am praying for it to be closer to 3 than 10. 

One thing that was pretty crazy for how intense the surgery was is that I came home the same day.  My parents have been amazing.  The doctors and nurses recommended that I sleep in a recliner because it will help with the swelling and pain.  Scott and I have moved in with parents, not because of my diagnosis, but because we have been trying to move to Ripon.  As soon as my parents heard I needed to sleep in a recliner my dad left the hospital to buy me a recliner for my room.  It was so sweet!

Scott has been amazing through all of this.  He is my cheerleader, my muscle, and keeps me laughing when I want to cry.  I love him beyond words. 

Thank you to all of you that have sent me messages, texts, flowers, and other goodies.  I appreciate it.  I know this fight is going to be hard and I will need all the prayers and help I can get.    Keep your fingers crossed that the results come back quickly and pray that we get clear margins.