Is There a Right Answer?

The other day I ran into an old teammate of mine from the local masters swim team I used to train with. It had been about five years since we had seen each other so we did a bit of catching up. It was natural for him to ask if I was still swimming but I didn’t know how to respond, in fact I was speechless. My mind was rushing through every way I could answer the question. Sitting next to me was Scott, and I must have been quiet for too long so he responded for me, stating I had been too busy recently. The guy said yeah same for him and we parted ways. But, the encounter got me thinking about how to respond to questions about my life.

If you read this blog you know I try to be very open and honest, but when it comes to face to face discussions it is so much harder. With the newest diagnosis I made a commitment to myself to be present at everything for my children. Some days Scott has to remind me that I made this promise because I really, really do not want to do anything. I mention this because over the past few months I have been around more often, leading to me running into more people.

The difficult part in being asked questions, even innocent ones, is that my answers, if honest, are hard to hear. I was told after a recent encounter where I nonchalantly said I had cancer, that I need to be aware of what I am saying. Unbeknownst to me, the person that I had been talking to was upset the rest of the evening. It leads to the question, “should I be a little less honest?”

I have been dealing with cancer going on two years now. For me, it is just easier to be open about everything. I am not ashamed of it, and, I can’t change, it is part of who I am. But, I am going to try to be a little less outspoken with people that haven’t seen in me in awhile.