I received my PET scan results yesterday and they are pretty good. It does not look like there are any distant metastatic locations. Hallelujah! However it does look like the cancer is in more than one lymph node. Due to that finding the doctor wants to do surgery as soon as we can get me in. Just so happens there was an opening today. So I am scheduled for surgery later this afternoon.
Details on the surgery:
The procedure should be around an hour and a half if everything goes well. We are for sure taking out all the lymph nodes. The incision will go slightly under my armpit from my foob towards my back (not sure anyone cares but in case my fellow breast sisters are reading this and wondering I want them to understand what the heck happens during a lymph node dissection) . I will come out of surgery with a drain.
It was optional to stay over night, which I declined. I mean they hacked off my breasts and I walked out of there the same day. In my head I am super tough, like an American Gladiator. I’m not but I figure fake it till you make it right, lol?! At home I have to take it easy. This means I am back to no lifting which sucks because I was finally back to my pre-cancer workouts and almost able to do a pushup NOT on my knees again. They are telling me that the pain is suppose to be manageable, fingers crossed on that one. If things go according to plan the drain comes out in two weeks, maybe three, and then radiation is up next once fully healed.
Additional updates:
Last night I was at the hospital till 11 getting an MRI done of my brain. Those just straight up suck. If you want to know why I have had a PET scan and now needed an MRI it is because of the way the two scans differ. A PET scan uses sugar to light the cancer up like the 4th of July. Sugar feeds cancer cells so they inject you with a radioactive sugar dye that then goes directly to locations that are sugar fans. Because our brains are constantly working they need a lot of energy so they gobble that sugar up as fast as the cancer cells making it hard to tell if there are any small tumors in the brain. An MRI gives a more accurate depiction of what is really happening in the brain. Since breast cancer loves to travel up there and stake a claim my doctors wanted to double check. Those results should be coming in the next few days. My doctors and I both feel like there is not going to be anything but are trying to be thorough.
People keep asking me what they can do to help and I just do not know. My sweet friends Monica and Lyndsey are putting together a meal train which is great. But I don’t know how many meals we will need right now??
This time I know what to expect. I know that surgery is the easiest part. Right now I would ask for prayers. Prayers that the doctor is able to remove all of the cancer since it is still operable. Prayers that the cancer cells decide to forget to play hide-n-seek and stay out in the open so we can find them and remove them. Prayers that I will be able to endure the discomfort that will come with another surgery. Prayers that my family and friends will feel comfort and stay calm. Prayers that I can fight this thing. So pretty much could you pray?
The next steps on this path are where it is going to be a test of my endurance and faith. Radiation is the unknown but chemo is going to be tougher. Once we hit that point I am sure I will need to rely more on friends and family, especially with the kids. It is hard to ask for help. I truly hate it. It just makes me feel weak, but I know that in the coming weeks I am going to have to ask many of you to shoulder a bit of my burden. I am lucky to have so many willing and able to help, just another blessing, but I am sorry that I have to ask for it again.
My friend Miranda and I were talking yesterday and she said something that sums up how I feel perfectly. I thought I was crossing the finish line but instead found out it had been moved back to the starting line. I’m out of breath, my muscles are fatigued, and I am mentally drained but will continue to push through the aches and pain to cross that line.
People often refer to cancer as a journey. It is not a sprint but a marathon. Unconsciously I thought this was going to be a small marathon, like a half, or better yet, a 5K. Only to find out I got signed up for the Iron Man. I’m a little more beaten down physically to start the race than the first time but I’m not giving up.
Today, the race starts again.