Welcome To Our World

Life as we know it on Earth has drastically changed over the past weeks. For many of us we have been asked by the government to stay inside our homes, to keep away from others, and to practice good hygiene. Something that once seemed to only exist inside a movie created by Hollywood has become our every day lives. Most of us will feel very restricted but for those living with cancer or some other chronic disease it is a way of life, to protect our life. It is a mystery to many that do not have cancer what living with cancer is like. With all the reading, and my own writing, that I have done I have yet to find something that has had the ability to capture a realistic example of what it is like to live with cancer…until now. The worldwide pandemic of COVID-19 emulates what we cancer patients feel on a day to day basis. So to those waking up and coming to grip with a new reality, a reality that they couldn’t have imagined until this day, welcome to our world. It might be a new world for many but most of us have found a way to readjust the lens and focus on the joy that comes with being alive. I hope that this post might help a few recapture the delight there is in every day life.

The first emotion when you receive a cancer diagnosis is fear. It rips through your body wrapping tightly around your heart and pulling your mind into the darkest depths of your soul. It latches onto the one question that no one has the answer to, am I going to die from this? As more and more people are getting sick with COVID-19 many healthy people are also asking this question. So how do you deal with it? You focus on all the things you can do to keep your body and mind strong to fight off the illness. Although cancer and a virus are different the way we can deal with fear is not. Like the song in Frozen 2, do the next right thing, and keep doing that. What does that mean? Make a list of what you can control. For me that is my diet, my level of exercise, etc.

One of the first things I did when I started chemotherapy was self isolate. Jokingly I say that the world has finally started doing what I have been practicing for over two years. One great thing for me is I have already dealt with being alone, losing friends, and ultimately just feeling lonely. But you know what? I have found out that I am fantastic company! My focus is so far from what others think about me and refocused on what truly matters in life: our families, ourselves, our faith, and what we do to benefit society (work, volunteering, etc.). Right now the world is pretty blessed to be asked to shelter in place with those we love.

I think the hardest area of life to come to terms with is the feeling of losing control. We are being told where we can go, what we can do, what work is essential, or not. In addition to our daily lives being uprooted we are all trying to not get the virus. I don’t know about you but it feels like the bricks just keep getting added onto my back. This is a unbelievable time to be living in, one that the world has never seen before. With all of the answers that are unknown, for me the fall back is my faith to help me through this. I am not a churchgoer, but I have a very strong believe God. It is at times like this where I think we are reminded that Faith is not something we see but that we feel. Find whatever in your lives gives you hope and comfort. Whatever that might be will help you.

This blog post has been in the making for almost two weeks. The delay in actually getting it finished lays in two areas. First, like most of you I am trying to work from home while homeschooling my kids and listening to my husband on his tenth zoom call of the day. It is a lot to get smoothed out! Second, the day of my last chemo we loaded into the car and headed up to Oregon to pick up a new puppy. My husband has felt like I am getting too depressed as I continue on the cancer journey. I will readily admit I did not think I was depressed. However, now that we have this pup I can say that I was no where near as happy as I have been these past few weeks. That is saying something since most are feeling the opposite these days.

I hope that those of this, cancer patients or not, are all doing what we can to help each other. Please wash your hands, stay away from each other, and think beyond yourself. It could save a life and all of our lives are precious.