Busted by the Hubs

Each night since the pandemic we have been able to sit down and eat dinner together as a family. For me the pandemic has been a huge blessing because I fully understand how precious time together is. We have used this time to really get to know each other. Sounds silly but it is true. One of the questions the kids asked was who was your last boyfriend or girlfriend before mom/dad…why they wanted to know this baffles me. But as the weeks progressed of family dinners we have learned all kinds of things about each other. It has become something all of us look forward to and as the kids have been able to get back in the pool recently, something we have all really missed.

Scott asked me last night how the blog was going. I was a little surprised at the question as we don’t discuss this blog often. He told me he doesn’t want to read the blog, maybe ever. To him it is like scratching an open wound, reliving it is too painful. That being said he is my biggest supporter and one of the reasons I even did this in the first place. So I explained that I actually hadn’t posted anything since April until just the other day. Color me surprised when he get upset. It is a little funny how frustrated he was that I had not been posting, I mean he doesn’t even read it! But Scott says I have an obligation to continue writing because cancer isn’t over after treatment….and that is why I married this man.

For me the hardest part about navigating life after cancer surgeries is the negative effects there are on your muscles, lymph system, and mobility. Overall, I have done a pretty stellar job (if I say so myself) of getting myself back to normal-ish. I successfully got rid of all my cording, which freaking sucked. I also have almost full range of motion back if I stretch multiple times a day. That is right, every day, more than once. But one area that I can’t seem to get a handle on is the swelling in my arm.

I know I have written about this briefly in the past but dude, lymphedema SUCKS!!! My error is not taking pictures of my arm at its biggest. When my brother Dave is around I will take a picture of his bicep next mine because at my arms largest it was bigger than his. I have refused to take any pictures that show my left arm. Is this completely insane? YES! But it makes me feel like I am this massive blob. No amount of working out can get definition into an arm that is swollen with lymph fluid. Not only does it just look unsightly, it hurts. My arm aches constantly. This aching is important because for the majority of my chest and left side of my upper body I am totally numb.

There are numerous professionals that can help with lymphedema. Full disclosure, I am sure that there are some fabulous people out there in this field. I have not met them. The standard line I get is that my arm is “bigger” than the other because I do to much, I workout to hard, or too often. My favorite explanation was that I should be less active, maybe just stick to a leisurely walk instead of strenuous exercise. NEWS FLASH! Every research article I have read about breast cancer prevention or breast cancer reoccurrence shows, without any doubt, that exercise is one of the most important components of one, not getting cancer, and two, not having a reoccurrence. The fact that professional’s are suggesting a woman that not only got breast cancer (with no family history or genetic markers) but had a reoccurrence should not workout is horrifying.

In my quest to find ladies that might be working out beyond walking I started asking questions in a few of my Facebook groups. Enter Courtney. Thank the heavens for Courtney. Courtney is a freaking body builder and cancer survivor in one of these groups and she got me hooked up with a nonprofit called Barbells for boobs, here is the link if you want to check them out, https://www.barbellsforboobs.org/ . Basically these ladies created what I had talked to my friend Miranda about trying to create back in 2017 when I got my first diagnosis. If you have been on the blog with me through this all, I have accomplished what feels like nothing so kudos that this got created. It is needed desperately in the breast cancer community.

So what is this organization, right? In a nutshell they want to help women be active after a breast cancer diagnosis. The founder and many in the group are avid crossfiters. I am not but don’t feel like the group discriminates. To me movement is movement so you do you. They also offer resources for screening, doctors visits, and more than I am sure I even know about. It has only been about two weeks since I found them and already the resources available have been lift changing. My left arm is the smallest I have ever been able to reduce it. Much of this I credit to the workshops and zooms offered with professionals through Barbells for Boobs. It is really a great organization and I recommend you check them out!