Round 12
Originally published at bcvsbc.blogspot.com on 01/22/19
Friday I got my 12th infusion. It was a little sad while I was there because most of the patients that I have continually seen at each treatment were missing. Since I am far from quiet it didn't take long for me to get to know a handful of other people going through similar experiences. Ironically not everyone in the infusion center is getting chemotherapy, nor do they have cancer, yet the only people that I have got to know are all there because of cancer. The majority of the people I have met are women, over 60, and unfortunately stage 4 for whatever type of cancer they have (none have had breast cancer they range from brain or liver to colon or blood). Almost every first meeting was the woman approaching me to ask how old I am. It is obvious I am there for chemo because the bald head gives us away. They always tell me they are so sorry that I got cancer because I am so young.
These women have become my friends over the past nine months. I worry about them, my kids and I pray for them, and I anxiously await the day of my next chemo appointment in hopes that when I go around the corner one of these women will be sitting in a chair receiving her infusion. And this time none of the women were there. Two weeks ago one of these women that I call my friend reached out to me in between treatments to let me know that the chemotherapy she was getting had stopped working and her tumors were getting bigger. She wanted me to know and I am hopeful that I will be able to go visit her at her home this week (I tried last week but she was too sick for visitors). This was fresh on my mind as I looked around for any of my friends before my infusion and one of the reasons I was so sad when I didn't find a single one of them.
The obvious reason that none of them were there is that they were scheduled on a different day, or at an earlier or later time. But with all of them being stage 4 the chances are slim. Since it is medical information no one can tell me how a patient is doing but they could tell me if they had been in or not. None had. I left notes for a few of them and asked if they would give them to the girls if, or when, they came in. Most of them don't have social media or text and those whose numbers I have are terrible at returning phone calls!
I just hate cancer.
So my infusion actually went well. The targeted chemo is suppose to be easier on my body however it is tearing up my insides. I have taken more anti-nausea meds with the targeted chemo than the harsher chemo (really I felt better on the harsh chemo than the targeted, now I just fill sick all the time). When I wake up in the morning I can't eat anything until about lunch time until the week before my next treatment. It is a bit like morning sickness. Another weird thing is that the targeted chemo is not suppose to effect my taste buds or eating habits it does seem to be. Two nights ago Scott took us to go get ice cream (I don't remember why, a celebration for something the kids had done...my brain is stupid these days). I got one. Within 45 minutes of eating it I was on the toilet 6 times in less than an hour. Needless to say we both decided maybe I should lay off ice cream until I am finished with all chemo.
I have also had a significant increase in migraines. Since switching to just targeted chemo I have one a week, MINIMUM. They suck so bad and the migraine pills don't seem to stop the pain or the weird vision issues associated with them. Oh and since we are talking about vision that is messed up too. I can't decide if my prescription has changed all of the sudden or the chemo has done something to my eyes. I am constantly needed to rub my eyes to relubricate them and blink to get my contacts back to the right location on my eyeball so I can see. You might think, "geez Alicia just wear your glasses dingbat!" HA! I have tried and it is the same. I have to keep; blinking and trying to focus even in those. The solution is to just go to the optometrist but I feel like it is a direct correlation to the medicine and I need to wait till I am finished.
The most recent reaction I have had is a weird rash that has showed up on my chest. I will post a picture below this. It showed up Friday after my infusion first just as a red mark from my port down in between my foobs. It is kind of hard to see it in the picture but it looks and feels a little bit like the acne rash I got after my first infusion. Trying not to be a crazy hypochondriac I have been just watching it for the past few days but it is getting more raised bumps. Today I decided to send the oncologist a message because I want to make sure it isn't going to spread like last time and I have a sneaky suspicion that it is creeping up my neck and onto my chin already.
I only have four more infusions to go so hopefully new side effects will just stop already!!! Though my track record makes me a little nervous as what is going to show up after the next one.