Round 2

Originally published at bcvsbc.blogspot.com on 06/21/18

It would have been amazing if each time Chemosabe came to visit the side effects were the same. Well, except for the acne rash, that can stay away and never visit again...ever.  The knowing WHAT is going to happen is comforting to me so off I went last Friday armed with the knowledge of what was yet to come and feeling pretty darn ready for "it"...that was a mistake.  Chemosabe does not want me to become complacent, at least that is what I have been telling myself.  I hope that this is because the more diligent I am in taking care of my body the less chance there is that more cancer will grow or spread.  So, me being prepared for the impending diarrhea to hit and flaming rash on my face was almost laughable as the days progressed after chemo and neither came to visit. 

There was one thing that stayed pretty consistent through both rounds and that is the unbelievable lack of energy.  I fall asleep as soon as my butt hits a chair these days.  Mind you, this isn't a slow falling into sleep, it is an immediate folded over, snoring loud, with drool escaping my lips kind of deep sleep.  Without fail I will be like this for a minimum of two hours at a time.  When I finally do wake up  I am unsure how I ended up falling asleep where I was because I don't remember sitting down there in the first place.  It's weird.  The only other time I can recall being this tired was during pregnancy, but even that level of tiredness was not this intense. 

An unfortunate new side effect that has decided to hang around for the long haul is constipation.  Here I was armed with medicine to prevent the doomsday diarrhea only to have it pull a disappearing act.  Now I am taking medicine to "get things moving" and so far my body has decided to be a stubborn brat.  This has brought on, shall we say, unpleasant cramps.  I would compare them to back labor.  Oh and they never stop.  Also exciting with this side effect is the super full bloated lower stomach.  Again, best comparison would be what I looked like during my first trimester of pregnancy.  Notice a theme here?  This round is like being pregnant and going into labor but so far no freaking baby.  FYI in this analogy that would be finally being able to go poop...

The second new side effect has been the odd effect Chemosabe has on my taste buds.  Most people have heard about the metal taste that comes during the infusion, in typical Alicia fashion I didn't have that.  Instead my sweet complicated little body decided it would be more fun to make everything I attempted to eat after this round taste like cardboard...or rotten.  I will look at whatever it is I am trying to eat; strawberries, salad, scrambled eggs, even a cheese sandwich, and say over and over in my head what it is and that it will taste good only to take a bite and almost immediately vomit from the flavor.  It has been drilled into me that I need to keep my weight during these treatments (my mom and Scott would force feed me if I allowed it) so this side effect has been the hardest one during this go round. I am forcing myself to my eat and that has never, ever been something I thought I would need to do.  Just in case you are wondering I have only lost one pound this round so I am conquering this thing in beast mode...but I really, really do not want to eat. 

The last unusual side effect has been odd muscle, joint, and bone pain.  What makes it odd is that it isn't consistent or in the same location more than once.  I am sure if people watched me stand up from a sitting position they would think I was an old man with my creaking joints, bald head, and stretching once finally upright.  There is a new level of respect I have gained for those that have health complications with arthritis, gout, diabetes, and more that deal with stuff like this on a daily basis.  I know I have said this before in posts but I have been a healthy active woman almost all my life, it is so difficult to absorb the continuous changes that my body is going through.  In my mind I realize that this is one moment in time and (hopefully) once finished with Chemo the side effects will go away for good but between now and then, I won't lie, it is a daunting road.

At this point all I can think is what new exciting side effect round 3 will bring me....